Whispers
Johnny stopped short in the hallway leading to his bedroom.
Everyone was in bed at this late hour but he knew he'd heard something. He held
his breath and waited, his eyes darting all around as if he'd see what he was
hearing but it was silent now. After nearly a full minute, he sighed and
shrugged then headed to his room once more.
There! He had heard something but where was it coming from? It
seemed to be all around him. Just a whisper. He couldn't make out the words, if
there even were any words. But, something was there. He waited again but heard
no more.
Inside his room, he lit the lamp and turned it up, illuminating
the room then went about undressing for bed. A breeze wafted to him, cold and
soft. Goosebumps rose on his arms and he made to go to the window and close it.
He stopped again and stared. It was already closed.
He turned sharply and scanned the room in its entirety. There
was no one, nothing there. Warily, he continued undressing, looking up and
around him every few seconds.
This is ridiculous! he thought. Probably just a breeze got
through around the sill or something. I'm acting like some scared kid. Shaking
his head at his own foolishness, he extinguished the lamp then slipped between
the bed linens and sighed.
It was just getting chilly at night now. It had been a long,
hot summer and the cooler weather was inviting, for a while. Soon enough, he
knew he'd be wishing for that summer warmth again. He hated cold weather. This
time of year, he longed for Mexico just a little more than any other time.
That he would always miss it, he was sure but not enough
certainly to give up what he had now. He smiled a little at the memory of
supper this evening. He'd come in a little late, tired and put out with the
day. Murdoch had given him only a cursory look of annoyance to which he had
smiled and winked. He could swear he'd seen just a flicker of a smile on the
man's face.
Then Scott had started in on him and they'd had a time going at
each other. That was the best part of the day for him. Supper time when they
were all together. When he could play around with his brother and, sometimes
even his father. He'd grown to appreciate Murdoch's insistence on punctuality
for the evening meal even if it was just impossible some days.
Murdoch seemed to realize this and didn't growl at him quite so
much if he was late now. Of course, he was rarely late and always had a good
reason. He reckoned the old man was seeing that and relaxed more about it. That
was a good feeling, too. That his father understood he wasn't just being
irresponsible or selfish; that he always had a reason for everything he did.
His eyes grew heavy and he let go, waiting for sleep to visit.
Suddenly, he came straight up in the bed, looking all around the room. He'd
heard it again; the whispers.
Once his heart stopped racing and the rushing in his ears was
gone, Johnny allowed himself to think. Must be the wind. It's pretty heavy
tonight. Yeah, that must be it. Just getting in through the cracks. He laid
back down and sleep did come in then.
*
Johnny staggered into the kitchen the next morning, bleary eyed
and grumpy. No one said a word to him and he was glad for that. His day had
started badly already and he didn't want it made worse by someone trying to be
cheerful. He ate his meal in silence then, with a grumbled 'see ya later', he
left for the day's work.
He hadn't slept well. Tossing and turning half the night as
dreams invaded his slumber. They weren't nightmares exactly but they were
disturbing to him. Strange dreams that made no sense. Now, in the light of day,
he couldn't remember any specifics, just that they were odd and they seemed to
come one right after the other all night.
He saddled Barranca who seemed to sense his mood and remained
passive, then walked out into the yard. Murdoch and Scott were standing by the
corrals talking as he neared and his father called him over.
"Take a ride over by Devil's creek today and check the
water level," Murdoch ordered.
Johnny nodded and started to turn when he felt a hand on his
arm. Looking up, he saw Scott's eyes drilling into him with a concerned gaze.
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah, just didn't sleep too good. I'll perk up soon, I
guess." He gave a perfunctory smile and mounted up then rode off with a
less than enthusiastic wave to his family.
Devil's Creek! That was miles out of his way. Didn't Murdoch
realize that? He inhaled deeply of the cool air and let it out slowly. Stop it,
Johnny. You're bein a bear. Just something that's gotta be done. No sense
gettin all prickly about it. He quirked his mouth at himself then decided to at
least try for a better mood.
*
Well, second day in a row I've been late for supper, he thought
as he trudged up to the front door. Still, it's not like it'll take a genius to
figure out I had a little problem. Murdoch will growl a little but that's all.
He opened the door, stopping his thoughts and focusing on stepping into the
great room. He figured Scott would get a good laugh, anyway. And he was right.
His eyes found his father first, sitting at the head of the
table and Murdoch's mouth fell open. Then, he looked at Scott who burst out in
laughter. Johnny stood there enduring the humiliation and waiting for the
ultimate question. Finally, it came.
"What happened to you?"
Murdoch's voice wasn't as expected. It was soft and concerned
and Johnny felt a little guilty for assuming he'd yell some. "Fell in the
creek." Managing a smile, he went on. "It's got water in it."
Murdoch's lips twisted then he frowned and cleared his throat.
"Did you have to get in to tell?"
Johnny just smirked at him, shooting a glare at his brother who
was still laughing.
"Go change your clothes, son. But, try to hurry."
Johnny smiled genuinely and gratefully at his father then
nodded and headed upstairs. Scott's laughter followed him all the way. His
previous bad mood returned and he felt some unkind feelings toward his brother.
Mostly, that he wanted to knock that grin off Scott's face.
As he changed his clothes, his mood darkening even more, he
heard it again. The whispers. He turned sharply and looked behind him. It
dawned on him that maybe his brother was playing a trick. It could have been
Scott last night and he could have followed Johnny upstairs just now.
Quietly, he stepped to the door then jerked it open and jumped
into the hall but it was empty. Hmmph! Probably gave him plenty of time to get
downstairs. Well, he's not getting away with it, that's all. He dressed quickly
and hurried downstairs.
*
Sitting in his chair, he didn't even look in his brother's
direction, deciding to play it cool for now. He smiled at Murdoch then started
filling his plate.
"I hope you don't catch a cold, Johnny. It's been chilly all
day."
He looked at the old man and shrugged. "Guess if I do I'll
just have to deal with it."
"Well, eat a good supper. You didn't sleep well last
night. No sense in tempting fate."
"No worry there. I'm starvin!" To prove his point, he
shoved a forkful of potatoes in his mouth. He heard his brother chuckle again
and was surprised at the irritation he felt toward Scott. Maybe he was already
getting sick. Still, he refused to look at his brother. He may be trying not to
be any angrier but that didn't mean he wasn't already ticked off at his
brother's less than sympathetic greeting tonight. He almost smiled to himself,
knowing how ignoring Scott got on the older man's nerves.
Conversation turned to ranch work and local news through the
rest of the meal. Still, Johnny maintained his vigil and never spoke directly
to his brother. He could hear it in Scott's voice and felt it was ample
payback. A small smirk flashed across his face as he stood to retire into the
living room with his family.
It happened about as he expected. Murdoch excused himself for a
minute and Scott jumped right in. "I'm sorry I laughed at you, Johnny, but
it was a sight. You would've laughed at me, too, and you know it."
Johnny stared at his boots as he stretched his legs out. He
heard the frustrated sigh from the sofa.
"Well?"
Slowly, he looked up at his brother with the slightest of
smiles on his lips. "What else have you been up to, brother?"
The frown on Scott's face, coupled with the pure confusion and
shaking head made Johnny second guess himself.
"I haven't been up to anything. What do you mean?"
"Nothin, Scott. Sorry, nothing at all. Besides, I was just
getting back at you and you would've done the same." He cocked a brow and
waited for his brother to even try denying it. All Scott did was lower his eyes
briefly then grin. "Well, I'm going to bed. I have a feeling Murdoch might
be ordering me to any minute anyway."
Scott stood as well and as Johnny neared to pass him, he
reached out and felt his brother's forehead. "So far, so good. Sleep well,
brother."
Johnny gave him a slap in the gut and a grin. "I plan on
it. I'm worn out. Nite, Scott."
*
Johnny was smiling as he climbed the stairs. Despite his
off-handed remark, he prayed he didn't get sick. There was nothing quite as
miserable as a cold and he seemed to keep them a good long while the rare times
he'd caught one. Well, maybe if I think myself healthy, I'll stay that way. He
laughed a little at that thought.
As he turned the knob and opened the door an inch, he felt the
cold air rush toward him. Johnny let go of the door knob and took a step back,
goosebumps erupting on his arms even as a chill went down his spine. He wasn't
too sure it was the cold air causing it. He knew his window was closed unless
one of the women had opened it while cleaning.
Sighing and running a hand through his hair, he figured that's
exactly what had happened. He didn't know why he was so spooked. He had been so
convinced Scott was playing tricks but his brother's face told a different
story. Unless, his brother was a very good actor.
No sense in standing out here like an idiot, he thought and
walked into the room. It was dark as coal and he sucked in a breath as he went
to light the lamp. The air was warm and his eyes went immediately to the window
once the light was on. It was closed.
"What the hell is going on here?" Frustrated more
than anything, he went about readying for bed, his exhaustion beginning to hit
him hard.
As he settled on his back, his arms cradled under his head, he
stared at the ceiling until his eyes adjusted to the near dark. Once he was
able to make out the furniture in the room, he closed his eyes and began to
drift off.
*
Johnny bolted straight up in the bed breathing rapidly and
looking wildly around the room. He scooted up to the headboard and leaned
against it, still checking the room. Sweat ran down his cheeks from his temples
and he swiped a shaky hand over his face. After a minute, he threw the covers
off and swung his legs around to sit on the edge. He lit the lamp with still
trembling hands and slowed his breathing.
His heart began to work normally again but he was still wary.
Rising, he moved around the room, pacing and trying to make sense of a dream he
was rapidly losing memory of now. Try as he might, it slipped away until it was
nothing more than vapor, out of his reach. He went to the bedside and looked at
his pocketwatch.
Three o'clock! Great! I'll never get back to sleep. He stood
there a while longer then decided to head to the kitchen. Murdoch said once
that sometimes when he couldn't sleep, he drank some milk. Maybe, that would
help.
Slipping his pants on, he headed down the hall in his bare
feet. Probably not a good idea, he considered as he remembered the swim he'd
taken and the possibility of catching a cold. Well, I'll just chance it.
As he reached the landing, he stopped cold. Johnny felt someone
watching him and that was a familiar feeling for him. Slowly, he turned and
looked back down the hall, half expecting to see Murdoch but no one was there.
As he started to turn back to the stairs, he saw something in his periphery.
Peering down to the opposite end of the hall, he saw a mist.
Frowning and befuddled, he moved slowly toward it. How could fog get inside the
house? That didn't make any sense. He moved ever closer as the mist seemed to
evaporate before his eyes. By the time he reached the end, it was gone but the
air was decidedly colder here. He pulled the curtain back from the window but
it was closed. Johnny held his hand by the sill but could feel no draft.
"What are you doing?"
He jumped two feet in the air then whirled around at the voice.
Heart thundering for the second time this night, Johnny leaned against the wall
and shuddered out a breath. "You scared the hell out of me, old man!"
"Keep you voice down. What are you doing?"
Johnny relaxed and straightened himself, suddenly embarrassed.
"Well, I thought I saw something down here but it was nothing." His
father was eyeing him closely and he felt uncomfortable. Murdoch wasn't saying
anything and Johnny couldn't stand it any longer. "Well..."
"Why are you up so late, son?"
"Woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. I thought I'd try
that milk. You know, you said it helps you?"
"It does. That's where I was heading, too. Come on, we'll
raid the kitchen."
Johnny smiled and stepped into his father's open arm. He fought
the urge to look behind him and kept walking, feeling much better now that his
father was with him.
*
As they sat quietly in the kitchen nursing their milk and a
slice of applesauce cake, Johnny couldn't stop thinking about the mist, or the
cold air or the whispers or the damned nightmares. It was frustrating but it
was also starting to frighten him. He hated to admit that and he still didn't
know what it was. But, his upbringing kept nudging forth, trying to find a
voice to tell him what was happening. He knew what that voice would say and he
didn't want to hear it. He'd never believed in such things and the stories had
scared him as a child. When he was older, he simply scoffed at them.
He glanced over at his father and knew he'd scoff, too. No way
was he going to tell Murdoch about this. The only sound in the kitchen was the
slurping of milk and Johnny smiled a little at the comfortable silence. His
shoulders relaxed and he dipped his head a little lower, feeling the tiredness
creeping back to take hold. His eyes began to droop then he heard it.
Head snapping up, Johnny looked at his father but Murdoch was
eating his cake and made no indication anything was amiss. But, he had heard
it, hadn't he? Maybe not. Maybe he had fallen asleep right there at the table
and dreamed it. Was he ever going to get any decent rest?
He tried to act normally and lowered his head again. Surely
this wasn't Scott, now. His brother wouldn't chance Murdoch hearing him if he
was playing a joke. Johnny was beginning to think Scott had nothing to do with
this and that maybe, he was simply losing his mind. "What day is it?"
"Friday."
"No, I mean the date," Johnny reiterated.
"November 1st."
Johnny shivered, holding his breath then slowly releasing it.
He smiled weakly at his father but Murdoch was looking oddly at him.
"What's going on with you, Johnny?"
"Nothing. Just wondering the date, is all." He ain't
buyin that, Johnny boy, he thought.
"Are you sure you're not getting sick?"
"I'm fine. I think I'm gonna head up now." He stood
and grabbed his dishes, setting them in the sink and applying his mask. Once
ready, he turned back, smiled warmly at his father and bade him goodnight. He
could feel Murdoch's eyes on him the whole time he walked away.
*
He made it to his bedroom door without incident and smirked to
himself with the thought. Still trying to find a reasonable explanation, Johnny
walked to the end of the hall and checked the window. It was firmly closed with
no draft. Sighing lightly, he turned and went to his brother's door. Quietly,
he eased it open and looked at the sleeping man, covers half off the bed and
one arm dangling off the side of the mattress, he could hear Scott breathing
evenly.
Back in his own room, Johnny ambled about, checking his own
window and looking in every corner. This is ridiculous! he thought. He tugged
his pants off and slid under the covers. He heard Murdoch's bedroom door shut
as he lowered the light by his bed. Determined, he settled down and went to
sleep.
His eyes opened and he stared at the ceiling. His breathing was
heavy, his heart pounding in his ears with sweat-saturated hair plastered to
his head. Johnny couldn't seem to move for several minutes. Pulling his mind
back to the here and now, he slowly wiped his face and tried to relax his tense
muscles. Every inch of him seemed drawn tight and unable to function properly.
It seemed to take hours though he knew rationally it wasn't so.
Eventually, he was able to sit up and he looked around knowing he'd see
nothing. Still feeling somewhat dazed, he put his pants on in an automatic
fashion then stood and walked to the door. Without hesitation, he opened it and
turned toward the left, away from the stairs.
He knew exactly what he was doing yet he couldn't seem to stop
himself. Part of him didn't want to go, part of him knew he had to.
At the end of the hall, he turned right and down the passageway
to the unused wing. He'd only ever been there once before when he and Scott
were exploring this massive house. That was not long after he'd recovered from the
gunshot wound. They'd both been more than curious as to what that area held
since Murdoch nor Teresa ever mentioned anything about it. What they'd found
wasn't exactly exciting. Empty rooms mostly, some with old furniture. The most
those rooms held was dust. Tons of dust - as if the place had never been used.
Or, at least, not for years.
Scott had logically stated there was no need to use this wing
of the house. There was ample room for one man in the rest of the hacienda.
Murdoch had lived alone for many years. Even with Teresa and her father there,
the additional rooms wouldn't be needed. The elder Lancer brother had wondered
aloud at the time why Murdoch had built such a large house. Johnny had jokingly
retorted he figured the old man had counted on having a dozen or so kids. The
idea had fallen weak on being verbalized and neither brother felt the desire to
stay their course of exploration. He'd never gone up there again.
The air was decidedly cooler in this area with no heat source
and not much furniture to hold that heat even if it were there. Johnny felt the
chill on his bare chest but he didn't alter his course. He headed straight for
one room in particular. One of two rooms in this wing that had any furniture.
It was mostly broken pieces; a bed, a dresser, an old mirror -
all of which had seen better days. He reckoned Murdoch just used it to store
stuff and probably had forgotten it was even there.
Now, he seemed drawn to this particular room, larger than the
others, he knew. He hesitated only a second before turning the knob. The door
creaked loudly as it slowly swung open but he was unconcerned with the noise.
He knew no one would hear him.
What he saw made him feel dizzy and he leaned his hand against
the doorframe. Mouth hanging open, he could only stare.
*
Johnny blinked and tried to make sense of what he was seeing.
It was a dream, surely. Of course it was. He was going to wake up in the
morning and either laugh about it or not even remember it. Convincing himself
of this, he stepped inside. As soon as he was clear, the door slammed shut. He
could hear the lock striking home.
He turned and grabbed the doorknob, wrenching it left and right
and pulling with all his might but it wouldn't give. He started examining the
door, thinking maybe it was bowed from the changing temperatures over the
years. As he slid his hand along one side, he heard a noise behind him.
Rounding, Johnny fell back against the door as the room
transformed even more before his eyes. Slowly, it faded into something
altogether different.
Light poured from the now sparkling clean windows as if it were
the height of noon. He smelled roses in the air. The old furniture disappeared,
replaced by sturdy, shining new. And in the corner, a baby crib just
materialized.
And he head the whispers.
A table was there with an open music box playing some soft
tune. It was a pleasing sound and he found himself relaxing just a little. A
vase of roses appeared on the dresser. The bed was made with a downy quilt
overlay, ruffled canopy and pillows adorning it. He blinked then rubbed his
eyes as he tried to make sense of it all.
He saw movement and looked toward the corner as a small
black-haired head popped up from the crib. Tiny fists grabbed the railing as a
baby stood on wobbly legs and cooed at him. Johnny stared into the incredibly
blue eyes and saw himself there; as if he were looking into a mirror.
The door on the other side of the room opened and she walked
in. Dressed in a light blue gown with a low bodice trimmed in white lace, her
hair was pulled up on her head yet strands cascaded around her neck. She went
to the crib, a loving smile on her beautiful dark face.
Johnny slumped a little further down the door as his knees
began to tremble. He opened his mouth but no sound would come out. He watched
mutely as she picked the baby up and cradled him against her.
"Did you have a good nap, niño? Your papa will be home
soon and we will have a nice lunch."
The baby squinched his face and sucked his lips before opening
his mouth. "Papa?"
She laughed musically and Johnny felt tears stinging his eyes
at the beauty of that sound.
"Si, niño. Your papa, he loves you so much. More than
anything in this world."
Johnny smiled softly, his eyes blurred by the moisture there.
He felt a lump rise in his throat and he swallowed convulsively. Then, he
jumped at the loud sound.
*
Boots clumped toward the door behind him. Instinctively, he
moved aside and to the corner nearest him. The door swung open and he gave a
thought to running through it but his feet wouldn't move at all. He tried to
raise a leg but it felt like it weighed a ton.
He leaned into the shadows, thinking they couldn't see him but
not taking any chances. The towering figure of his father twenty years younger
stood just inside the doorway. One big hand flicked the door and it closed
resoundingly. Johnny heard the lock click once more.
She turned and smiled warmly at him. The baby reached out his
arms, his fingers curling and uncurling as he grasped the air between them.
Murdoch's face softened from the deep frown as he reached out and took his son.
Bouncing the boy in the air a few times, he hugged him close.
"Have you had a good day, hijo?"
The child made some sort of noise and Murdoch laughed deeply.
Johnny found himself smiling, the tears still in his eyes. The
next words wiped the smile away.
"Where's my lunch?" The seemingly innocuous words
were said with such disdain, such irritation, Johnny flinched away.
"It is ready, my husband. Please, sit and I will bring it
to you."
"You should have had it here already. You know I come home
at the same time every day to see Johnny. There is no excuse for the
delay!"
The baby whimpered and Murdoch rubbed his back as Maria
disappeared from the room. Johnny realized she hadn't walked out the door, just
simply vanished.
He watched his father carry him to a chair and sit down. He
bounced the baby on his knee and received peels of laughter from the child.
Once baby Johnny had settled, Murdoch pulled him in closer and started talking
softly.
"Soon, your big brother will be here and you'll have
someone to play with. You'd like that, wouldn't you, son?"
The child nodded, a bright smile on his face. "Sot?"
Murdoch chuckled. "Yes, but it's Scott. Can you say that.
Scott?"
The baby squinched his face again and worked his mouth around
the sound. Finally, he said with confidence, "Sot."
Again the father laughed and just nodded. Then, the laughter
and the smile were gone and Maria was back. Standing there with lunch tray in
hands and a smile on her face.
"Well, put it down! I can't eat it if you just stand there
with it!"
Her smile never faltered as she walked over and sat the food
down, taking the baby so the father could eat. "I hope it is to your
liking, husband."
Murdoch made a noise and tucked into the meal. Johnny watched
his mother carry him to the window and begin humming softly.
He realized he was now sitting on the floor in the corner. He
didn't remember how he'd gotten there but his father's attitude angered him.
More than that, it hurt to see how he treated his mother. Was this how it
really was or am I seeing what I imagined her life with him was like?
He pondered that. He'd never really thought what their marriage
had been like but it wasn't hard to think it wasn't good since she left
Murdoch. Or, as he had thought for so many years, been thrown out.
*
Suddenly, the room darkened, the players evaporated then
reappeared. He realized it was now nighttime in this strange place. He watched
as Maria leaned over the crib and smiled, tucking in the covers and wishing him
a good sleep. Then, Murdoch was there, already in bed and Johnny found his feet
again. He knew he didn't want to see this and he slowly walked toward the door,
hoping to make his escape.
Maria went to sit at the dresser and began brushing her hair.
Johnny smiled, remembering how particular she was about that nightly routine.
No matter what was happening or where they were, she always managed to find
time to brush her hair every night. When she was sick, he'd brush it for her.
His hand reached out without any thought or volition from him. He snatched it
back, his heart thumping painfully in his chest.
He saw her look in the mirror at the man in the bed, a
seductive smile on her face. Johnny looked at his father and saw nothing but
animosity. His heart sank and he wondered again if this was a true look into
the past. He didn't want it to be so.
Murdoch turned onto his back, adjusted the covers and closed
his eyes. Within seconds, he was snoring.
Johnny looked back at his mother and saw tears spring up in her
eyes then she buried her face in her hands. Before he knew it, he was walking
toward her slowly. He wanted nothing more than to console her at that moment.
She looked up then, into the mirror and right into his eyes.
"Now, you know." It was all she said then she was
gone.
They were all gone and he was back in the dark, back in the
dusty room with the broken furniture and the air cooled substantially. He heard
a creak and turned to the door as it swung open.
*
Johnny walked into the kitchen the next morning and saw his father
first. Anger rushed through him so quickly, it took his breath for a moment.
Scowling, he took his seat, not happy at the close proximity to the old man. He
glanced at Scott who appeared busy making a dent in his breakfast. When Murdoch
greeted him, Johnny ground his jaw before saying a mumbled 'mornin.'
He stared at his plate, moving his fork slowly about the edges
of the food. Why did he react that way to Murdoch? He knew it had to do with
the dream last night but he couldn't really remember much about it. Mostly just
the feelings it evoked. Disturbing, angry, bitter and painful feelings. He also
knew it had to do with his mother but the details just would not present
themselves to him.
He managed to drink a cup of coffee before muttering about work
then leaving the room as quickly as possible.
In the foyer, he donned his gunbelt and hat then yanked the
door open, giving it a slam then pulling up short outside. He turned back to
the door and stared at it, sighing and trying to rein himself in. He had no
reason for this anger. Even if his dream was that bad, it was stupid to take it
out on his father. Realizing how foolish an apology would sound, he decided the
best course of action was to work out his frustrations.
By the time he arrived home that evening, Johnny was exhausted.
He'd gone hard all day, not even stopping for lunch - not that he'd bothered to
take any with him. He was hungry, tired and still irritable but he resolved not
to take it out on his family. They had no idea what was wrong with him. Nether
did he for that matter. But, the thought of walking in that house filled him
with dread.
Johnny pulled up short half-way across the yard and turned,
heading to the garden. He took his time, knowing he shouldn't. Knowing it was
nearly supper time and he'd been late the past two days as it was. If he wanted
an argument with Murdoch, that would sure bring one on. At that precise moment,
he didn't care. He simply did not want to go in there.
Why? That's the question he kept asking himself over and over.
Why am I feeling this way? Why don't I want to go inside? Why can't I get a
decent night's sleep?
He slowed his gait and ambled around a rose bush. Maybe that's
the whole problem. I haven't been sleeping well. Yeah, that has to be it. Well,
no one's fault but mine, I guess.
Resignedly, he headed to the kitchen door and stepped inside,
stopping when he saw the room empty. The stove was cold, the counter empty. Not
one crumb of food was to be found.
Shaking his head, he pulled out his watch. It was exactly six
o'clock now. What the hell? He walked through to the dining room but it was
empty as well. No plates, no forks, not a napkin to be had. What's goin on? he
wondered and headed on through to the great room.
Once more, he found himself alone and he went to Murdoch's
desk. No note. Nothing seemed out of place. The hair on the back of his neck
stood up and Johnny pulled his gun, turning to face the room. He heard it
again.
Cocking his head to one side, he listened hard. He could hear
the whispers but, as usual, no real words. Holstering his gun, he stepped
toward the sitting area, scanning the room and glancing toward the French
doors. Where is everyone?
*
The dizziness took him completely by surprise. His hand went to
his forehead as he squeezed his eyes shut for a second. Then, he felt the cold
air and opened them to a bizarre scene. Last nights dream sprung vividly to his
memory.
Maria walked into the room wearing the same blue gown as last
night. She held him in her arms as she hummed lightly. Skirts rustling, she set
the baby by the cold hearth and began dusting the room. Where she got the cloth
to do so, Johnny didn't know.
He looked over at himself, playing with a wooden horse and
making baby noises then went back to watching his mother. His mother! This was
plain crazy. He walked closer and called out to her. She didn't seem to hear
him so he tried louder. Still, there was no response to him. She stopped and
looked at the front door as it opened. Johnny saw fear in her eyes and turned
to see who was there.
Murdoch walked in looking very tired. He tossed his hat on a
table as he passed and went straight for the liquor. Pouring a healthy dose of
whiskey, he downed it before looking about the room. His eyes settled on his
son and a soft smile came to his lips.
Johnny back-stepped, wanting desperately not to see this same
scene played out again. He ended up against the wall by the French doors and
suddenly found he could go no further. He couldn't turn, couldn't move his
legs, couldn't take his eyes away from them.
Murdoch walked over to the child and leaned down, ruffling his
hair. Baby Johnny looked up at his father and giggled. A smile came again to
the rancher's face then he stood straight and looked at his wife. The smile
fell away and a frown replaced it.
"Where's my supper?"
"It is not ready yet."
"Why not? It's six o'clock!"
"I am so sorry, husband. Johnny got into the lard just a
while ago and I had to give him a bath. Supper will be ready in twenty minutes."
Johnny looked at her, saw the fear then scowled at Murdoch as
he awaited the man's reaction. He saw the big hand tighten around the empty
glass he still held, saw the jaw tighten and the vein in his neck jut out.
"Are you so inept you can't do more than one thing at a
time? Do I need to hire someone to care for my son?"
Tears brimmed in her eyes and Johnny opened his mouth but no
sound would emerge. He swallowed hard and tried again to no avail.
"I can take care of our son. I am sorry. It will not
happen again."
"Why are you even in here? You should be in the kitchen
getting the food ready. Well? Go on!"
At that moment, she looked directly into Johnny's eyes, tears
spilling down her cheeks. Her mouth didn't move but he heard her words clearly.
'Now, do you see?'
She turned and ran from the room. Johnny's eyes fell on Murdoch
as he walked over and picked the child up, sitting him in his lap and bouncing
him. His voice was gentle and smooth as he spoke to the baby.
"Not long now, son. Scott will be home and I'll have my
boys at my side. The three of us will build this ranch into the empire it was
destined to be. You'll see. Your brother will be back, I swear it."
He felt the dizziness consume him again and lowered his head,
realizing he could move now. As he looked up, the room was empty and he sagged
to the floor.
*
He felt someone shaking his shoulder as he became aware. Johnny
frowned and opened his eyes slowly to find Murdoch kneeling beside him.
Befuddled, he looked around and noticed he was sitting on the floor, his back
against the wall, his legs splayed out in front of him. Did I pass out? Swiping
a hand across his face, he allowed his father to help him to his feet. He
rubbed the back of his neck as he tried to make sense of why he was here at
all.
Memory took hold, stronger and clearer than this morning and he
stepped quickly away from his father. He looked around the room and saw they
were alone. His shoulders tensed as he made his way to the fireplace.
"Son, what happened?"
He leaned into the mantle and rocked back and forth a few
times. "I don't know. All the sudden I was on the floor."
"Are you sick? Do you feel lightheaded?"
He turned to look into the face full of concern for him and
felt the same hatred he'd felt most of his life for this man surge to the
forefront once again. He could only shake his head.
Murdoch stepped toward him and he pulled his shoulders back,
ready for a fight.
"I'm sending for Sam. No one just passes out for no reason
and without warning."
"I don't need a doctor." He lowered his eyes for a
second. "I think I need a priest." Murdoch advanced on him too
quickly and Johnny moved away. "Leave me alone! Stay away from me!"
"Johnny, what has gotten into you? Why do you need a
priest?"
He felt the panic, his breathing growing more rapid as his eyes
darted around the room. "Where's Scott?"
"I sent him to Modesto this morning. We talked about it
last week. Do you remember?"
With a shaky sighed, he nodded. "Yeah, I remember
now." He looked at the bottles of liquor and considered then shook his
head. "Murdoch, I've been seeing things; hearing things. I don't know what
the hell is going on but I think I'm losing my mind."
With more fear than he liked, he looked at his father and saw
the grim face staring a hole through him.
"Sit down and tell me what you've been experiencing."
Surprised, Johnny made it to a chair and fell into it. He began
with the whispers, his thoughts it was a trick played by his brother and
everything that had happened to him in the past two days. He left nothing out,
reporting the conversations between man and wife and his mother's own words to
him. By the time he'd finished, Murdoch had grown pale, his hands clenched into
fists at his sides as he sat stiffly on the sofa.
The room was silent for far too long and Johnny's nerves,
already strung tight, felt as if they were about to break. He could even
imagine the sound; twanging like barbed wire breaking free of the fence posts.
*
"Did your mother ever tell you any stories about when you
lived here?"
The words came out in a tremble and Johnny's heart seemed to
stop beating. He managed the one word answer. "No."
"I thought maybe she had and you were dreaming or
something."
"Are you saying it's true? That you treated her like
that?"
"Of course not! But, she lied to you before. I just
thought maybe ... I don't know what I thought, son. I never treated her like
that, Johnny. I swear it on my life."
He nodded though it wasn't in understanding or even to indicate
he believed his father. Simply that he'd heard the man. He didn't know what to
believe. Why would he see these things? He knew she'd never spoken of their life
at Lancer. She'd barely been able to say Murdoch's name and the few times she
did, she spat on the floor in disgust. "What the hell is happening to me,
then?"
"I don't know but, I think you're right. Maybe you should
talk to a priest. There have been times ..."
Johnny leaned forward, noting the grimace that told Murdoch
felt he'd said too much. "What? There've been times when what?" He
simply shook his head and Johnny's anger rose. "Murdoch, tell me!"
"There've been times when I thought I saw something or
heard something in the house. As if there was someone here when I knew there
wasn't."
He sat back in the chair, stunned for a moment. Finally, he
found his voice. "Are you saying you think this place is haunted?"
"I don't believe in ghosts."
"Neither do I but something happened here. I didn't make
it up. I ..." He stopped and gave himself a moment before going on.
"I haven't been sleeping much. Maybe I am seein things that aren't there.
Maybe I am going crazy."
"You are not going crazy! I don't know exactly what is
going on but I know that much. Let's have some supper and think it through.
Maybe, we just aren't seeing something."
Johnny frowned and looked at the dining table. It was set for
supper and he bowed his head. I am goin loco!
*
No matter what was happening to him, Johnny was still ravenous.
He ate as if it was his last meal and neither man spoke during the supper hour.
They sat there afterwards quietly. Johnny looked at his father
and saw he was thinking hard. Murdoch always had the same expression on his
face when he was grappling with a problem. Johnny had begun to tell the
difference in those expressions.
"I should stay with you tonight. Watch you sleep. If
anything happens, I'll be there to see it."
"What if nothing happens because you *are* there? Maybe
she doesn't want you to see..." he trailed off, knowing how ridiculous he
sounded. He felt his cheeks flush and smiled sheepishly at his father.
"We can try, at least."
"You know this is crazy, right? I mean, if my mother is
... haunting this house then she's trying to make me believe something that
isn't true. Trying to make me hate you again. I don't think I could take that.
I'd rather be loco."
"No on said it was your mother doing this. Just because
she's there, doesn't mean she's controlling anything."
Johnny gave his father a sidelong look. Maybe the craziness was
catching. "I guess we could try but if nothing happens, you need to send
me somewhere."
"That isn't going to happen. Whatever it is, we'll deal
with it together."
His father's hand on his arm gave Johnny more comfort than he
would have believed possible. He smiled at the man and nodded.
*
Johnny stared at the ceiling as he lay on his back. Having
Murdoch sit there watching him wasn't very conducive to going to sleep no
matter how tired he was. And he was exhausted. Eventually, his eyes began to
slide closed.
Suddenly, he sat bolt upright in the bed and looked around. He
listened hard but could hear nothing now. But, it had been there. The whispers.
He sat on the side of the bed then stood up stiffly.
"Johnny?"
"This way," he said and headed out the door.
He went back to the old wing and to the same room he'd been in
last night. He felt his father behind him but the presence brought no comfort.
He wasn't so sure *it* would let Murdoch into the room. The only thing he knew
for sure was, he couldn't stop himself from going.
He opened the door and walked right in. Turning, he was a
little surprised Murdoch was inside with him. He watched as the door closed and
the lock struck home. He watched as his father tried to open the door.
"Don't bother. We should stand over here." He went to
the corner where he'd watched this drama the night before and waited. Murdoch
stood next to him and Johnny figured the old man knew he was crazy by now.
The scene began to play out the same as before. He heard his
father inhale sharply as his mother entered the room with him. Saw his father's
hand as it reached out toward the two but he made no move of his own. He
watched almost dispassionately, feeling as if this was a book he'd read a
hundred times. He knew what was going to happen. Or so he thought.
When Murdoch walked through the door and began asking for his
lunch this time, things started to change. Johnny tensed and grabbed his
father's hand. The conversation was the same but Maria's demeanor was entirely
different. No longer was she the smiling, dutiful wife. Her eyes were afire
with hatred as she disappeared to fetch the meal.
Johnny tried to tell his father what had changed but he found
he couldn't speak again. When she reappeared, he pressed himself harder against
the wall.
Maria appeared with the lunch tray and set it on the table then
took the baby and put him in his crib. Murdoch began eating. When she turned
back, she held a pistol in her hand. She walked over to stand directly in front
of him.
"Now, you see," she said and pulled the trigger.
The sound was deafening in the enclosed space. Baby Johnny
began to wail as his father fell out of the chair with a thud, lying there
unmoving on the floor. Maria walked over and picked the baby up, cooing softly.
"It is all right now, chico. We can leave this place and you will never
have to return here." Her eyes went to them both standing in the corner.
"You never should have come back here."
With that, they were all gone, the room fading back to its
normal state. The door opened with a creak and Johnny bolted.
*
He didn't stop until he was back in his room and he fell to his
knees beside the bed. He felt his father's hands on his shoulders and leaned
back against him. "What the hell was that? It wasn't like that the other
times. She either smiled or cried and apologized before." He felt
Murdoch's heart pounding in his chest, felt the heavy, uneven breaths on his
neck and felt very sorry his father had witnessed this.
"I don't know, son. What really happened was nothing like
anything you described or we just saw. I don't understand it but that wasn't
Maria. I mean, she's not doing this. I don't ... I can't believe she would hurt
you like that."
Both men jumped and turned awkwardly to see the bedroom door
had been slammed shut. They got to their feet and Murdoch walked over and
grabbed the knob but it wouldn't open.
Johnny looked around the room, suddenly more angry than
frightened. "What the hell do you want? Who are you?"
He heard the whispers again, now growing louder yet he still
could make out no words. He turned to Murdoch, intent on asking if he could
hear but he didn't have to. The look on the man's face answered his question.
The temperature plummeted in the room and Johnny's hand went to
his bare right side without conscious thought. He winced, knowing a gun would
do him no good now anyway. He took one step toward his father then paused as
the man's face grew pale.
Without further warning, Murdoch slid down the door,
unconscious. Johnny ran to him, feeling for a pulse and finding it easily. He
sighed his relief but it was short-lived. Closing his eyes briefly, he slowly
turned around, knowing someone was watching him.
*
She stood there by the window, still in the same blue dress.
For the first time, Johnny really looked at the gown. It occurred to him it was
not the type of clothing his mother would have worn. Remembering his father's
recent words, Johnny rose to his feet and faced her.
She reached out her arms, smiling softly, her eyes seeming to
beg him come closer. Johnny stood his ground and shook his head.
"Who are you? What do you want?"
"You don't recognize me?"
He stayed still, uncertainty flittering though his thoughts
then decided to see what would happen. "No."
It started softly, like a moan that grew in intensity until a
wretched scream emanated from her mouth. She threw her head back, the sound
deafening and Johnny put his hands to his ears. He backed away, nearly tripping
over Murdoch then glanced at him but the man made no move. As he looked back at
her, she suddenly stopped and stared at him blankly. Then, the smile was back,
the arms stretching forward once more.
"It is me, your mother. Come to me, Johnny."
Again, he shook his head. "No, you're not my mother. What
do you want?"
Tears filled her eyes, her lower lip trembled and he nearly
gave in.
"It is mama, Johnny. I want you to stay with me. I love
you, hijo. Please, come back to me."
He forced his voice to be flat, cold. "I don't believe
you."
Her eyes dried, flames seemed to erupt from the black depths
and she glared at him. Johnny felt the heat and his own fear.
"You will come to me, now!"
He felt his foot move and he took a step. Then another. He
looked down, willing his feet to stop moving but they would not obey. He drew
nearer and nearer until he was within her grasp. He felt the ice cold hands
pull him into an embrace and he struggled to get away. The strength in those
arms stunned him. He wrestled to release his own arms and grabbed her biceps,
pushing at her.
Faces less than an inch apart, she smiled at him, her face
twisted grotesquely, her eyes rolling back in her head as if in some sort of
horrible agony. Johnny found his inner strength and shoved her. Stumbling back,
his legs hit the mattress.
*
"What are you?" he whispered as he watched the
transformation playing out before him.
Her face returned to normal then began contorting again. It was
as if she were struggling to stay normal; as if it caused her great pain. It
had to, he thought and wondered why he cared. He didn't know what this was but
it wasn't his mother. He was sure of that now.
The scream erupted suddenly this time and he grimaced thinking
his ears may start bleeding at any moment. The air turned around him, he could
feel the breeze - soft at first then increasing in velocity as it turned into a
ferocious wind. Squinting, he tried to keep his eyes on her, afraid to look
away but afraid to watch.
The scream turned into a screech then into a low growl. He put
a hand up toward his face, trying to escape the gale and thought the sound was
much like a wildcat. She roared ferociously then, within a second, everything
stilled. Maria was once again standing before him, beautiful and smiling. Her
arms slowly came up, stretched toward him once again. This time, he didn't take
a step yet, he was suddenly right in front of her.
He felt the arms encircle him more gently now, hands slowly
rubbing his back then, he felt more pressure as if he was being massaged. The
pressure increased until it became almost painful. Through it all, he found he
couldn't move. Paralyzed and locked in her gaze, his mind could only seem to
focus on the hands on his back.
Johnny's eyes widened, his mouth opened though no sound came
forth. The pain was excruciating yet, he still could not move. He could only
feel her nails embedded into his back. He could feel the warm blood running
down his back, saturating his waistband. And still, he was unable to look away
from her black eyes. She was smiling at him then, her eyes rolled back and she
swayed to and fro, taking him with her as she emitted a throaty, primal, almost
ecstatic growl.
His back arched and he realized he'd done it of his own volition.
He tried to move away and felt the nails go deeper into his flesh. He had no
choice but to lean closer to her. "Please," he whispered as he
lowered his head. "Please, stop."
He felt her press her head against his own and moved back to
raise his eyes to hers, hoping he could somehow get her to release him.
"Please, mama, it hurts."
She smiled an evil smile. "I know, miel. It is supposed to
hurt. It will hurt for all eternity. Isn't it wonderful? Does the pain not
excite you? Come with me and you will always know this pleasure."
He shook his head violently. "No! Let me go!"
The wail came again, the intensity stronger still than the last
but she did release him and he stumbled back, once more hitting the bed. He
skirted around it and moved quickly to his father, shielding him out of pure
instinct. Her eyes fell on them and she pointed an accusatory finger.
"He has poisoned you against me."
"YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER! Get out of here. Get out and leave
us alone!"
"You belong to me," she hissed.
"No, I won't go. You get out of here, witch!"
She threw her head back and laughed maniacally. "Witch? No
witch has my power!"
She moved toward them and Johnny would swear her legs never
moved. It was as if she was floating through the air. He felt very dizzy again
and he forced himself not to look away. He moved to block his father's inert
body and called upon the only thing he knew would help them now.
Johnny made the sign of the cross and she stopped, lingering in
midair and looking at him with an amused grin.
"In
nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Tu autem effugare, diabole."
(In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Sprit. Be gone,
devil.)
Her
face twisted as if in pain and he repeated his prayer over and over, his voice
growing stronger with each invocation as he felt the fear begin to leave him,
felt his faith returning along with his determination.
*
A
great rumble ensued, as if the very earth were trembling then, as suddenly, it
was quiet. Deathly quiet. Johnny wasn't sure he could trust it and he stayed
where he was for long moments, waiting for something to happen. But, she, or it
was gone and the room appeared normal except for the fact he was on the floor,
shielding his father's body. Johnny jerked and turned around, getting to his
knees as he hovered over Murdoch.
A
groan, soft yet gruff came from the slightly parted lips of the older man.
Then, he blinked. Johnny put a hand on his cheek and called softly to him as
Murdoch slowly opened his eyes and blinked rapidly several times. His hand came
up and he scrubbed it over his face then looked in his son's eyes.
"What
happened?"
Johnny
sighed out a breath and took another before answering. "I'm not sure you'd
believe me. Let's just say it's over. Come on, old man, let's get you off the
floor." He came to his feet then extended a hand to his father.
Murdoch
grunted as he came to his feet then swayed to the left a little. Johnny grabbed
him around the waist and waited anxiously to see if he was alright. His father
seemed to be righting himself and he received a small nod. He opened the door
and led the way downstairs.
Once
in the living room, Johnny poured two whiskeys and carried them to the sofa
where Murdoch sat rubbing his forehead.
"Headache?"
he asked as he handed one glass off.
"Some
and very confused."
"I
really think it's over now." Johnny looked at the clock and shook his head
a little. With a sigh, he raised his glass. "Dia de los muertos."
Murdoch's head came up and he frowned then he seemed to
understand. "All Soul's Day."
Johnny took a healthy swig of his liquor before eyeing his
father. "You okay?"
"I'm not sure what I am. I have a feeling, I'm better off
than you, though. Did you get hurt?"
He drew his brows together, remembering the exquisite pain from
her nails digging into his back. He rolled his shoulders and was relieved to
feel nothing more than some soreness. "I'm okay. I'm not so sure I'll be
sleeping anytime soon, though. I'd just as soon try to forget this ever
happened."
"So would I. But, Johnny, you know, don't you? You know
that wasn't your mother."
Johnny nodded and gave him a small smile. "Yes, I know
that now. I'm sorry I was so..." He felt his father's hand on his own.
"I understand, son. Let's try to get some rest, though.
You have to be exhausted."
*
Johnny staggered into the kitchen late the next morning.
Murdoch was sitting in his usual place looking as bad as he felt. He slid into
his chair with a nod of greeting then inhaled half a cup of coffee Maria set
before him before glancing sideways at his father. "Didn't sleep well?"
Murdoch found his gaze with a frown on his own face. "No,
I had some very strange dreams. I can't remember them exactly, but it was ...
disturbing."
Johnny scratched his head and stifled a yawn. "Yeah? Me
too. I don't remember, either."
"Well, I suppose it doesn't matter. It was just a
dream."
Johnny paused with his cup halfway to his mouth and looked at
his father strangely. "Yeah, yeah. Just a dream." He dropped his eyes
to the plate of food now before him and wondered. Was it?
The End
Winj
Oct 08