The Cat
Miguel Vasquez burst through the
front door of the hacienda and into the great room. "Senor Lancer! Senor
Lancer!”
“What is it, Miguel?” Murdoch
asked.
The vaquero took a moment to catch
his breath before telling his news. “Senor Lancer, there has been another steer
killed by the mountain lion in the north pasture.”
Murdoch frowned as he heard the
news. This was the third steer they had lost in the past week.
“Well, I guess it’s about time we
took care of this once and for all,” Johnny said softly, with that ever-present
slight grin.
Scott looked at him and nodded his
head. “I think you’re right, brother. Let’s get going.”
“Now wait a minute you two. Just
remember this isn’t a kitten we’re talking about. Be careful.”
Johnny smiled at the thought of
Murdoch’s concern. It warmed his heart to think that someone actually cared
whether he lived or died. It was difficult for him to get used to though and
sometimes, just sometimes, it made him uncomfortable. The feelings he had felt
stirring in him since he had come home had been hard to adjust to. Just the
same, he liked it.
‘Home’ How
strange it sounded. Even in his head thinking the word was a foreign idea.
Still, this was his home and he loved it and the people he had come to think of
quite easily as family.
“Well,
“Don’t worry, Murdoch, we’ll be
careful,” Scott reassured.
*
Johnny and Scott headed for the
north pasture near the foothills of the mountains that surrounded Lancer at
that end of the ranch. It was one of Johnny’s favorite places on the ranch. He
loved to ride through here. The air swept down from the mountains during the
spring and fall and made the area quite cool. Even on a hot summer day like
this, it was much cooler here than anywhere else on the ranch.
“Well,
“What does that mean?”
“It means, you’re good with that
rifle and that’s just what we need.” Johnny grinned and added, “of course, you
couldn’t hit the side of a barn with a pistol!”
“Oh, really? Let me tell you something, brother,” but
Scott stopped the teasing short as they both heard the unmistakable cry of the
mountain lion nearby.
The brothers looked at each other
with equal concern. They knew without speaking a word what the other was
thinking. Be careful.
Johnny scanned the area quickly as
he was so conditioned to do. He pointed toward a small stand of trees near a
long ago fallen boulder.
“Sounded like it
came from over there.
I’ll just mosey on down that way and see if I can flush him out to you, okay?”
Scott frowned at the thought of his
brother sneaking around on foot trying to scare a big cat. He knew it could all
turn very ugly if Johnny wasn’t careful. He also knew it was a good plan and
would make it a lot easier to get sight of the cat.
“Okay, just don’t take any
unnecessary chances.”
“Who me?” Johnny grinned his
heart-melting grin and dismounted from Barranca, pulling his rifle as he went.
He started slowly toward the stand of trees with his own cat-like grace.
Scott couldn’t even hear him move.
He watched intently as Johnny slipped into the trees. Concern tensed every
muscle in Scott’s body as he waited for a sign of his brother. He pulled his
rifle from its scabbard and waited.
Johnny was right about one thing;
he was good with a rifle. Scott smiled at the compliment his brother had paid
him, followed naturally by a teasing berate.
Suddenly, there it was. The cat was
huge. It came up the side of the boulder with sleek grace. Scott kept one eye on
the cat and the other frantically scanning the area for any sight of his
brother. He reasoned that Johnny was still in the stand of trees since he
hadn’t seen hide nor hair of him since he had
disappeared there. Scott raised his rifle and aimed for deadly accuracy.
*
Johnny slipped into the trees and
immediately came across the cat’s tracks. It was big that was for sure. He
followed the tracks through the stand of trees to the boulder resting next to
the stand. From the position of the sun, he reasoned that at this time of the
day, the cat would be resting someplace shady. And the shadiest spot was on the
other side of that boulder. He raised his rifle in front of him and slowly made
his way around the boulder.
Scott watched the cat creep down
the side of the boulder and stop. It was as if the cat were watching something.
Scott’s heart froze as he thought the cat had gotten sight or the scent of his
brother. He squeezed the trigger just as Johnny came face to face with the
animal.
*
The bullet seared through the left
side of his chest. He felt an instant explosion of heat and pain. Suddenly
everything was incredibly bright as if the sun was right in front of him and he
couldn’t see. He heard a second shot fired and heard the big cat cry out and
then fall silent.
Johnny had been knocked back
against the boulder by the force of the bullet. Now he started sliding down the
side. He landed on his left side and the exquisite pain tore though his chest
as everything started going black. His final thought was how strange it was
that everything was so bright for a second and now so suddenly dark.
“Johnny!” Scott shouted as he ran
towards his brother’s still body. He gently rolled Johnny onto his back and
gasped at the hole in his brother’s chest.
“Johnny, wake up. Please!”
Scott looked around frantically. He
knew he had to get his brother home, but he couldn’t just leave him here alone
either. Suddenly it came to him. He eased Johnny’s head down and ran to
Barranca. He took a piece of paper and pencil from his shirt and quickly
scrawled a note. He placed the note in Barranca’s saddle. Then, removing the bedroll, set the palomino loose.
“Go home, boy,” Scott said as he
patted the horse’s rump.
Barranca took off and Scott sighed
with relief as he saw the animal head straight for the ranch house. He grabbed
his canteen and ran back to Johnny’s side. Please God, please don’t let him
die, Scott prayed.
Johnny groaned and stirred
slightly.
“Johnny!”
Johnny opened his eyes and looked
around confused.
Scott whispered softly into
Johnny’s ear. “It’s going to be all right, brother.”
Johnny looked to his left and saw
the cat lying dead where his brother had shot him. “Hey,
“Yes, but I also got you. God,
Johnny, I’m so sorry.” Scott’s voice was filled with more remorse and sadness
than Johnny had ever heard in his life.
“Hey, don’t worry,
*
Murdoch was coming out of the barn
when Jelly yelled for him. He felt his heart drop into his stomach at the site
of Barranca galloping into the yard riderless. He
knew immediately something was terribly wrong. He reined the palomino and saw a
piece of paper snuggled into the saddle.
The note was simple and urgent.
‘Johnny shot, need help, north pasture’ was all it said.
Murdoch yelled for Jelly to hitch
up a wagon and lay down a bed of hay in the back. The fear and urgency in his
voice let Jelly know that one of the boys was hurt and hurt bad.
He had come to recognize the looks
and tones of Murdoch Lancer and the ones that chilled his soul were always the
ones that indicated some problem with one of the boys. Usually Johnny, Jelly
thought sadly. How could two men so much alike be at such odds with each other
so much of the time? Well, that was neither here nor there. Someone needed help
and Jelly set about readying the wagon.
Murdoch yelled for Teresa to have
the ranch medical supplies ready when they returned. Then he sent Miguel to
Morro Coyo for the doctor.
*
The scene Murdoch and Jelly rode up
on was heart wrenching. Scott held Johnny’s head on his lap as he tried
fervently to stop the bleeding from the wound he had inflicted. When Scott
looked up at him, Murdoch was stunned by the pure agony on his elder son’s
face.
Tears welled in Scott’s eyes as he
yelled for them to help him. They loaded Johnny into the straw bed in the back
of the wagon and headed for home. Scott was by his side, watching intently for
any sign from his brother, good or bad.
They laid Johnny in his bed and
removed his shirt as gently as possible. Teresa brought hot water, bandages and
towels. Murdoch began cleaning the wound and cursing under his breath at the
sight before him. His youngest, his sweet boy, lying there
bleeding so profusely. His mind went back 20 years.
‘Papa up, up papa,’ Johnny said
with his arms stretched up toward his father to hold him. How different things
could have been if only... Murdoch shook himself back into the present and the
task at hand.
It had taken almost an hour to get
Johnny home and though the bleeding had slowed, it hadn’t stopped. Remembering
the pool of blood they had left behind when they moved him, Murdoch worried
that the doctor would be there too late. He decided he would have to intervene
himself.
He looked at Scott for the first
time since they got Johnny home and said, “we can’t
wait for the doctor, he’s bleeding to death.”
*
Scott looked at his father with the
same anguished look that hadn’t left his face since he realized what he had done.
He could only nod in response. His voice had left him quite a while ago. He was
in a haze of pain, confusion and guilt. He had shot his own brother, maybe even
killed him.
Scott couldn’t face that thought.
He knew if Johnny died, he would die as well. For he knew
then what he had known already. He couldn’t live without his brother.
They’d only met a year ago but Scott fell into his role as big brother easily
and he liked the feeling. He had often thought in the past year, especially
when Johnny’s past would come back to haunt them all, that he would gladly give
his life for his brother.
And now, he thought, he wished
wholeheartedly that he could take this away. If only somehow he could take that
bullet from his brother’s chest and put it in his own, he would gladly do it
without a second thought.
*
“Scott! Did you hear me?”
Murdoch was looking at him, had
asked him something and he hadn’t heard. So lost in his reverie, he hadn’t
heard his father’s request.
Murdoch asked him again to hold
Johnny down as he started to, once more, cut into his own son’s flesh.
Scott nodded, still unable to speak
and positioned himself over Johnny, placing his hands on his brother’s
shoulders.
Johnny moaned softly as Murdoch
began to cut away his flesh. Then, the intense pain brought him back from the
edge of blackness. He struggled against Scott’s hold, but Scott held him still.
He wanted to whisper reassuring words to his brother, tell him it would be all
right and Murdoch would stop soon. But he still couldn’t speak.
Teresa leaned down and whispered
something to Johnny that Scott couldn’t hear. Whatever it was it seemed to help
because Johnny calmed down and stopped fighting his brother’s hold.
Suddenly, Johnny screamed out, but
he didn’t move. Only his head tossed from one side to the other as he fought to
control his body’s response to the terrible pain it was enduring.
Scott marveled at Johnny’s self
control. He knew how much pain his brother was in; how much pain he had caused
and the tears came again, as he could no longer hold them back.
Finally Murdoch was done. The
bullet removed, he sewed up the wound and bandaged Johnny’s chest. There was
damage to the muscle in the chest but the bullet had missed his heart and lung.
Johnny had long since slipped back
into unconsciousness and now seemed to be resting a little better.
The doctor arrived an hour later
and surveyed Murdoch’s handiwork. Nodding his approval, he gave them all
explicit instructions on caring for the wound and the young man. Because of the
amount of blood Johnny had lost, he needed to be watched carefully for the next
few days. They discussed a schedule for standing watch and Scott insisted on
the night watch.
Murdoch was curious but didn’t
question his elder son’s request. He knew what had happened and knew that, of
course, it was an accident. But he didn’t ask Scott for the particulars; not
now. Scott was still reeling from the whole trauma and Murdoch didn’t want to
contribute to his pain by making him relive it. There would be plenty of time for
that once Johnny was out of danger.
*
Johnny spent the next two days
slipping in and out of consciousness. He was too weak to talk to anyone but
Murdoch and Teresa talked him through the hours. They fed him broth and water
as the doctor had instructed and slowly Johnny began to gain some strength.
Scott would only come to his room when it was time for his watch and Johnny had
been sleeping through the night.
He had wanted to ask Murdoch where
Scott was but he didn’t have the strength. On the third day, Johnny felt well
enough to sit up in bed for a while. Murdoch sat next to him on the bed,
hovering like a mother bear.
This amused Johnny but it also gave
him a warm content feeling that was better medicine than anything the doctor
could come up with.
He rested against the headboard and
listened to Murdoch prattle on about everything and nothing. Suddenly, Johnny
had a horrible thought. He bolted upright in the bed and immediately regretted
the move as pain seared through his chest. He fought for breath as his father
tried to calm him.
“Johnny, what is it? What’s wrong,
son?”
“Ssscott...where’s
Scott?”
“Easy son, he’s here. He’s in his
room I think.”
“I want to see him, now!”
“Johnny, please you have to calm
down, you...”
“NO!” Johnny interrupted, “I want
to see my brother now!”
He struggled for every breath but
he would not be denied. He had a horrible feeling that something was wrong with
his brother and he wouldn’t stop until he saw Scott with his own eyes.
Murdoch knew Scott had been
avoiding talking to Johnny. Not wanting either of his sons upset, he tried to
reassure Johnny.
“No, something’s wrong. Something
must be wrong! Where is he? If nothin’s wrong then
why isn’t he here? He...he’s dead, isn’t he?” Johnny moaned.
“No, Johnny. Scott’s fine, I swear
it!”
“I don’t believe you. You’re lying
to keep me from gettin upset!”
“Johnny, I swear, he’s fine,”
Murdoch said softly, trying to ease his son’s mind.
“Then where is he? Why isn’t he in
here? You know he’d be right here if he was okay. If you won’t get him then I
will!” Johnny tried to raise up and starting
struggling even harder for breath.
Murdoch grabbed his shoulders and
pushed him back down. “You’re not going anywhere! Are you crazy? You’re going
to tear that wound open again! Okay, okay, I’ll get Scott but you have to
promise to stay still. Please, son.”
Johnny relented and sank back down
into the bed.
With a deep sigh Murdoch left with
a quick glance back to make sure his youngest was keeping his part of the
bargain. Satisfied that Johnny was staying put, he went to find Scott.
*
Scott stared out the large picture
window of the great room, his mind lost in its turmoil. He didn’t hear Murdoch
enter and jumped when his name was called.
“Johnny wants to see you.”
Scott winced. “Tell him I’m out
working.”
Murdoch looked at his son in
astonishment and confusion. “Scott, I don’t think you understand. He just tried
to get out of bed and come looking for you himself. I had to fight him to get
him to stay down. If you don’t come and see him right now, I’m not too sure
what will happen. Why don’t you want to see your brother,
son?”
Scott sighed deeply. “I can’t face
him, Murdoch. I can’t face what I did to him.”
Murdoch frowned. “Surely you don’t
think Johnny blames you!”
“Why shouldn’t he? I almost killed
him!”
“Scott, please. If you don’t go in
there he’s coming to find you. Now do you really want to see that happen?”
Scott sighed. “No, I suppose not.
All right, Murdoch. I’ll go but if you think he’s not going to blame me, you’re
kidding yourself.”
Murdoch couldn’t believe what he
was hearing. He knew Johnny would never blame Scott for what happened. The fact
that Scott didn’t believe that told Murdoch just how much pain his elder son
was feeling.
*
Scott stepped quietly into the bedroom.
Johnny’s eyes were closed but his breathing was labored and ragged. Scott moved
to the window and resumed the same position he’d had downstairs.
“Where the hell you been,
Scott started then turned to see
two sapphire eyes staring at him with a playful smile in them so deep it hurt
to look too long.
“Just taking care of some business,
Johnny,” Scott replied without much conviction.
Johnny frowned a little then smiled
at his brother. “Well I guess somebody’s got to take of the place til I’m back on my feet. Just don't make too much of a mess
for me to clean up,
Scott came closer and said,
“Johnny, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I shot you! I...I don’t know what else
to say.”
Johnny looked intently at his
brother, seeing his misery. “Geez, Scott, I can’t
believe you’re blaming yourself for this! It was an accident. God, I know you
weren’t trying to shoot me! Hey, it’s okay.”
“No, it isn’t okay, Johnny. It’s
anything but okay. Look I have to go on a trip to...uh...
Murdoch didn’t understand what he
was hearing as he stood just outside Johnny’s door. He hadn’t asked Scott to go
anywhere. Why was he lying to his brother?
Johnny sighed and looked at his
brother tiredly. “Okay,
“Right,” Scott said with no more
conviction than he felt.
*
Scott left the room and headed for
his own. Murdoch followed him, unseen by his son as he had been standing near
Johnny’s door.
“Just what do you think you’re
doing? Telling Johnny I’m sending you to
“You can explain things to him when
he’s better.”
“Explain what? What are you
thinking, Scott?”
“Murdoch, I can’t stay here any
longer. I don’t belong out here. I was just fooling myself thinking I could be
a...a cowboy. I’m going back to
Murdoch cringed at these words he
never thought he would hear from his older son’s mouth. It was never far from
his mind that Johnny could at anytime decide to go back to his old life. But
Scott had, from the moment he’d arrived, always seemed ‘at home’.
“I can’t believe what I’m hearing!
Scott, you can’t be serious. Why this is just insane, son. No one blames you,
least of all Johnny. You heard what he said. Scott, he loves you. You know this
is going to tear him apart!”
“Better he be ‘torn apart’ and
alive.”
Murdoch saw the firm set of Scott’s
jaw and knew he had made up his mind. He had seen that look before when Scott
had set his mind to something and he knew there was no changing it. Murdoch
wanted to tell Scott that Johnny wasn’t the only one that loved him, that
didn’t want him to leave. But he couldn’t. God! Why couldn’t he tell his boys
how much they meant to him?
Instead he said, “you don’t expect me to lie to Johnny for you, do you? I
can’t do that, Scott. I won’t do that.”
“Do whatever you have to and I’ll
do what I have to. Just do me one favor and don’t tell him until I’m gone. I
don’t want him trying to come after me. I’ll write him a letter, explain
everything. Give it to him for me, but wait at least a couple of days, please?”
“You think a letter is going to do
any good?” Murdoch asked incredulously.
“At least he’ll know why I left.
It’s all I can give him now, Murdoch.”
Scott started packing a bag and
Murdoch had to leave the room. He couldn’t watch his son pack to leave his life
forever. He also knew that if Scott left, eventually Johnny would leave, too.
How had this all happened? More importantly, could he stop it? Murdoch didn’t
think so. He didn’t believe even telling Scott how much he loved and needed him
would stop the boy from going.
*
The next morning Scott went into
Johnny’s room to say goodbye forever although he couldn’t let Johnny know that.
“Well, I’m going now. I’ll see you
when I get back.” He couldn’t even look into his brother’s eyes as he lied.
Johnny looked up at his brother
curiously. “Okay,
“Yeah, see ya,” Scott mumbled,
still unable to look into his brother’s crystal blue truth seekers.
“Scott?”
“Yes?”
“Are you okay? You seem...I don’t
know...distracted.”
“I’m fine, Johnny,” Scott lied.
“Look I better get going. Goodbye, brother.”
“Bye, see ya soon, right?” Johnny
asked suspiciously.
“Right,” Scott said a little too
quickly. With that he was out the door and gone.
Johnny lay there thinking over the
strange conversation he had just had with his brother. Because he was still so
weak and tired, he couldn’t wrap his mind around the implications of his
brother’s words. Soon he had drifted off to sleep again.
*
Scott waited for the stage in Morro
Coyo with his father. He hadn’t wanted Murdoch to come, but the man had insisted.
“If you’re leaving Lancer the least
you can do is let me see you off.” Murdoch had told him this morning.
Scott had acquiesced. He didn’t
want to leave. He wanted to throw himself at his brother’s feet and beg for
forgiveness. Forgiveness that he knew Johnny would give him easily and without
a second thought. But Scott couldn’t forget what he had done. He wasn’t even
really sure how it happened. He’d had the cat in his sights, hadn’t he? But, in
that last split second he’d seen movement out of the corner of his eye.
Had he flinched in that last second
before squeezing the trigger? Could he have been so easily distracted by a
simple movement? He shuddered at the thought for it was this thought that
haunted him. It was this thought that had made up his mind that he simply
wasn’t good enough to watch Johnny’s back. That Johnny deserved better. Much, much better than that.
In fact, he was sure Johnny
expected it. Now he knew he couldn’t be the one to supply that security for his
brother. And he wasn’t about to put his brother in another serious situation
ever again. The only way to avoid that was to leave. He had made up his mind
and he couldn’t change it now. Changing his mind would only prove the point. He
couldn’t be trusted when it counted the most.
Scott was so caught up in this
reverie that he didn’t hear the stage pull up. Murdoch’s hand laid gently on
his shoulder brought him back to the present.
“I guess this is it, son. Are you
sure this is what you want, Scott?” Murdoch searched his son’s eyes for any
hint of doubt.
Scott set his jaw and looked
squarely in his father’s eyes. “I’m sure, Sir.”
Sir! Murdoch knew what that meant.
There was no talking him out of it now. He helped Scott hand his bags up to the
driver then turned to his son for the last time. He could hardly keep the
moisture from his eyes. Later, he wouldn’t be able to hold it back.
“Goodbye, son. I hope you find what you need.”
“Goodbye, Murdoch. Tell
Johnny...tell him I’m sorry,” Scott said with a grimace of pain he couldn’t hide.
He boarded the stagecoach without another word.
Murdoch couldn’t speak. His throat
was closed against the tears he felt welling up inside him.
As the stage pulled off, Murdoch
whispered, “I love you, son.” He turned and headed for the buggy he’d used to
drive his son away forever.
*
Johnny wondered were everyone was.
He hadn’t seen Teresa since she had brought him his breakfast this morning. She
wasn’t her usual chipper self. She had seemed sad but tried to keep it from
him. He hadn’t seen Murdoch at all and Scott...he just didn’t understand what
was wrong with Scott.
Well, when he gets back from
When Johnny awoke it was dark in
the room. He could make out a figure standing by the window. As he focused he
saw it was his father.
“Hey,” Johnny whispered sleepily.
Murdoch turned around and smiled.
It was a sad smile, Johnny thought and he wondered why his father was so down.
“Where’s everybody been all day?
Forgot about me already, huh?” The smile in his eyes told Murdoch he was
teasing and he smiled back at his youngest.
“Well, we can’t hang around here
all day waiting on you hand and foot you know.”
But Johnny thought it was the
saddest smile he had ever seen. Still, he was too weak to make much sense of
Murdoch’s mood. He reckoned it was because Scott was gone on his trip. Yeah,
that was probably it.
“Are you hungry?” Murdoch asked.
“I sure am. I could eat a whole
side of beef!” Johnny exclaimed with a grin.
“I’ll have Teresa fix you something
then. I’m glad your feeling better, son.” With that he walked out of the room,
still looking awfully sad to Johnny.
*
Two days later, Johnny felt well
enough to get out of bed. After a quick exam and approval from the doctor,
Murdoch helped him get dressed and downstairs. He wanted to sit on the veranda
and feel the warmth of the sun. Truthfully, he didn’t care if he was sitting in
a mud hole as long as he was out of that bed!
Murdoch still had that sadness. He
tried hard to hide it but Johnny was getting a lot better at reading his
father’s moods and he knew Murdoch was unhappy about something. As they sat out
on the veranda together, Johnny decided it was time to ask.
“What’s wrong, Murdoch? You’ve been
one sad puppy for days now.” Johnny was never one to beat around the bush.
“I guess I’m just missing your
brother,” he said truthfully.
“Yeah, I figured that was it. But
he’ll be home in a couple of days, Murdoch. What’s the big deal?”
Murdoch sighed as he realized it
was time to tell Johnny the truth about his brother. He took a deep breath.
“Johnny, I have to tell you something. Scott made me promise to wait until you
were stronger and even though I don’t think you’re there yet, I can’t keep this
from you any longer.”
Johnny looked at his father with a
sudden feeling of dread but he stayed silent, waiting.
“Scott didn’t go to
“
Murdoch looked at the confused
expression on his son’s face, knowing it was about to turn into hurt and anger,
and he prayed for strength.
“He went back home. He’s not coming
back, Johnny. He left this letter for you.” Murdoch pulled the letter from his
shirt pocket.
Johnny stared disbelievingly at his
father. He was trying desperately to wrap his mind around what Murdoch was
saying. Scott gone back to
He took the letter from his father
and slowly opened it. He didn’t want to read it. If he read it,
that would make his father’s words true, and that just couldn’t be. But
he had to read it and he knew it. With a deep breath he started.
*****
Johnny, I’m sorry I had to leave
you but I just can’t stay. You need someone you can count on to back you up.
Someone worthy of the trust you placed in me, albeit unwarranted and unearned.
I’m not that person. I’m not good enough to stand with you in times of trouble.
I learned that in the worst possible way. When I let a little movement distract
me from killing that cat, I ended up instead nearly killing you. I can’t stay
here and look you in the eye and ever expect you to trust me again. It isn’t
fair to you. You deserve better and I know you expect better. Please don’t
leave Lancer. You belong there. Your Brother, Scott
Johnny could feel the tears welling
up and he did nothing to try and stop them from spilling over. That was
followed by such an intense anger he had never felt before that it surprised
him. Even frightened him a little.
“He lied to me. He stood there and
lied to me!”
Murdoch could do nothing but reach
out and rest his hand on Johnny’s shoulder. He could see the tears flowing freely
down his son’s face and it broke his heart.
“Why!? Why, Murdoch?” Johnny pleaded to his father
for an answer. For some kind of sense to be made of all this.
Murdoch couldn’t oblige. He just
shook his head. “I don’t know, son. I tried to talk with him. To reason with
him, but he had his jaw set and there was no changing his mind.”
“You should have told me before he
left,” Johnny whispered miserably.
“He made me promise, Johnny.
Besides I didn’t want you all upset and trying to get out of bed again.”
Johnny looked up at his father’s
misery and knew immediately what he had to do. “Well you don’t have to worry
about that now. I’m up and I’m going after him.”
“Johnny, you can’t! You’re too
sick, son. You’ll never make it. Why it’s three thousand miles to
“I don’t care if it’s three million
miles! I’m going after him and I’m bringing him HOME!” Johnny swore.
*
“Johnny, I wish you would wait
until you’re better or at least let me come with you,” Murdoch pleaded to his
son as they waited for the stage just as he had with his older son a week ago.
“I’ll be all right, Murdoch. It
doesn’t take much energy to sit on a stagecoach or a train.” Johnny smiled at
his father reassuringly.
“You’ll wire me the minute you get
there?”
“I said I would. Don’t worry,
Murdoch. I’ll bring him home if I have to drag him the whole way.”
“Johnny, just remember,
Johnny smiled and said, “well, then
I’ll have ‘em outnumbered!”
As the stage pulled away with his
second son, Murdoch said a silent prayer for them both. Whatever happened, more
than anything, he wanted his sons healthy and hopefully happy. He just prayed
that meant both of them back at Lancer.
*
The train arrived in
His first stop was a doctor’s
office he found near the train station. He wanted to be sure the wound in his
chest wasn’t becoming infected. The last thing he needed was to get sick.
After getting a satisfactory report
from the doctor and some new bandages, he found a hotel near Harlan Garrett’s
home and checked in. It was a pretty fancy place he thought, but he wanted to
be close to Scott. After resting awhile and getting a hot meal, he decided it
was time to face his brother.
He walked the several blocks to the
The houses were huge. Johnny wondered
where the ‘real’ people lived. The ones who broke their backs so people like
Harlan Garrett could live in such finery.
He cringed as he thought of the old
man who had tried so desperately to steal his brother from him, and had nearly
succeeded. It was dusk when he arrived outside the mansion. And that was the
perfect word for it; mansion. The huge white columns spread across the front
portico, the green plants hanging in baskets lined the front entrance, the lawn
perfectly groomed. Two huge oak doors barricaded the rest of the world from
this...Johnny searched for a word....with a chill down his spine he thought of
it...this mausoleum.
He stood at the corner of the
wrought iron fence that bordered the estate and noticed someone was pulling in
front of the house in a carriage. A man and a woman stepped down from the
carriage dressed in fancy clothes with ruffled sleeves and sweeping gown. They
rang the doorbell and were immediately admitted to the inner sanctum. Johnny
was puzzled until he took a few more steps where he could see in through the
large plate glass windows. He realized a party was going on.
Well, Scott sure didn’t waste any
time getting back into his old life, Johnny thought. Anger welled up in him
from deep in his gut. Obviously Scott wasn’t yearning for home! Well, we’ll
just see about all this! Without further hesitation Johnny approached the front
door and rang the bell. A tall well-dressed man answered and looked at him like
he had horns.
*
“May I help you, Sir?”
“Yes, I want to see Scott Lancer.”
“And whom may I say is calling?”
Johnny grinned at this and said, “well, you could tell him it’s the king of
The man made a small gasp then
sighed. To Johnny it sounded like a sigh of relief. “Come in, Mr. Lancer. Mr.
Scott is in the great room with his guests. I’ll just tell him you’re here.”
Johnny had thought of several
scenarios of how this first meeting would happen. None of them included a
houseful of dinner guests. He hadn’t counted on that and he quickly ran down
his choices in his mind. As the man started to move toward the great room
Johnny stopped him, a mischievous grin spreading across his face.
“Just a minute,
mister. Why don’t I just
let Scott know I’m here myself? You say he’s in there?” Johnny inquired,
pointing toward the great room.
“Why, yes Sir, but I don’t think
that would be a very good idea. Mr. Garrett...”
Johnny stopped him with a wave of
his hand. “I’m not concerned with Mr. Garrett or his guest. I came here to see
my brother and I’d just as soon make my presence known myself, if you don’t
mind.”
The man nodded and stepped back
without another word. As Johnny walked past him, he smiled and thought ‘thank
goodness, someone has come to talk some sense into that boy.’
Johnny strolled into the great room
as if he had been there a dozen times, confidence exuding from him. He quickly
scanned the room as was his habit and his eyes came to rest on the back of his
brother’s head. ‘Perfect’ he thought. He hadn’t wanted Scott to see him first.
The old man was standing next to
him on one side and a very attractive young lady seemed engrossed in whatever
Scott was saying to her.
As Johnny drew nearer he heard the
young lady say, “well, Scott, all I can say is, it’s
so good to have you home. We all missed you terribly.”
Johnny spoke softly. In fact,
nobody else probably even heard what he said. But Scott heard it.
He recognized the soft drawl of his
brother’s voice immediately. He whirled around and came face to face with those
sapphire blue eyes. A look of utter surprise adorned his face.
Johnny couldn’t help but give a
slight smile to his brother. He had been so angry with Scott for leaving he
hadn’t even realized how much he missed his brother.
*
“Johnny!” Scott whispered the name
incredulously.
“Hello, Scott, how are ya?” Johnny replied softly.
There was no hint of the anger and
pain he felt in his voice or on his face.
“What the devil are you doing here?
Who let you into my home?” Harlan Garrett demanded.
Johnny ignored the old man, didn’t
even glance his way. “We need to talk, Scott, now!”
Scott had regained his composure by
now. “Well, as you can see, Johnny, I have guests. I can’t just leave. That
would be rude.”
‘Rude?’ Johnny thought. Who cares
if it’s rude? With an anger he could hardly suppress, Johnny fought to retain
his own composure. He smiled at Scott but the smile did not reach his eyes.
He took the champagne glass from
his brother’s hand and looked at it as if it were the most interesting thing he
had ever seen. Slowly, he lifted his gaze back to his brother’s eyes. He had
had enough. He threw the champagne glass against the first available wall, bringing
everyone’s full attention to what was transpiring in the small cluster of
people.
“I don’t care how rude it is,
brother! We are going to talk and we are going to do it right now! Now it’s
your choice. We can talk right here in front of your ‘friends’ or we can go
someplace more private. You choose.” Johnny hissed the words through clenched teeth.
The look on his face told Scott he would not be ignored or brushed off.
Scott sighed heavily and turned to
the roomful of people. “Excuse us everyone. I need a moment with my guest.”
“Your brother!” Johnny glared. He wanted all of them to
know just exactly who he was.
Scott motioned with his hand for
Johnny to follow him and then left the great room with Johnny on his heels. He
took Johnny into his grandfather’s library and closed the heavy door.
*
Johnny scanned the dark room and
began pacing about its perimeter, picking up little objects and setting them
back down. Scott finally broke the silence.
“What the hell are you doing here,
Johnny?”
“Isn’t it obvious? I came to talk
some sense into that thick head of yours, brother.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.
Just go back home. You’re wasting your time and mine,” Scott said in his most
authoritative voice.
“Really? You lied to me, Scott. You looked me right
in the eyes and you lied to me. How could you do that? How could you betray me
like that?”
Johnny felt the tears welling up
and cursed himself. He had promised himself he wouldn’t do that. No matter
what, he wouldn’t show the pain he felt to his brother. Not now when he needed
to be strong and convincing.
“Look, I’m sorry,
Johnny, but I couldn’t tell you the truth. You were too sick and I knew it
would only upset you.”
“So that’s why you ran off like a
thief in the night? Coward!” Johnny spewed.
Scott glared at his brother and
yelled, “I was just taking a page from your book, Johnny! Anyway, I did what
was right. I don’t regret it. So just go home, Johnny, go home.”
Johnny cringed at these words,
knowing how true they had been. But not anymore, he thought.
“Not without you.” Johnny’s tone
softened with these words. He could see the conversation was about to turn ugly
and he knew if that happened, they would accomplish nothing. “Scott, please
listen to me. What happened was not your fault. It was an accident. I don’t
blame you, I never did.”
“You should blame me, Johnny. Like
I said in the letter, you’re better off without me,” Scott replied with obvious
pain in his voice.
Johnny sighed. “I’ll be the judge
of what and who I’m better off without. And that is definitely not you! Scott,
you’re my brother and my best friend. I can’t imagine my life without you in
it. I love you. Don’t you know that by now?”
The pain in Johnny’s eyes made
Scott turn away. He couldn’t stand to see his brother hurting and he didn’t
want Johnny to see the same pain reflected in his own eyes. When he was able to
face his brother again he saw more than emotional pain. Now there was something
else.
Johnny was holding his left arm
close to his side. Small beads of sweat were beginning to form on his forehead.
Suddenly, Scott realized it had been barely two weeks since he had shot his
brother and Johnny was here. Three thousand miles from home.
He must have left for
“My God, Johnny, your chest,” Scott
whispered with concern heavy on his brow.
“I’m all right. Don’t change the
subject. I need you to come home with me, Scott. I...I need my brother. Do you
want me to beg? Fine, I’m begging you, come home.”
Scott moved toward his brother and
was at his side in a second. He reached his arm around Johnny’s shoulders and
felt his brother lean heavily on him. He isn’t all right,
Scott thought to himself, he needs me.
“Let’s get you upstairs into a bed.
You need a doctor.”
“Oh, no you don’t! If you think I’m
spending one second longer than necessary in this house, you’re crazy! Besides,
your grandfather would have a hissy fit.”
Johnny tried to grin but the pain
that had starting burning his chest was getting worse with each breath he took.
He could feel the warmth oozing from the bandages and cursed himself for
allowing the stitches to tear. It must have happened when I threw that glass. I
just had to use my left hand to do it, he thought.
Scott smiled at his brother and
knew he couldn’t argue the point. Oh, he’d argue from here to hell with his
grandfather that Johnny needed his help but that wasn’t going to do his brother
any good at this point. Sighing he said, “all right. How about a hotel room then?”
“That’s fine,
I already have one at the
“Pretty fancy for a country boy,”
Scott teased.
“I wanted to be close to you,”
Johnny whispered.
Scott could feel his heart breaking
when he saw the utter anguish in his little brother’s eyes. An anguish which he
knew he had caused.
“Jenkins!” Scott yelled for the
butler.
“So that’s his name,” Johnny said.
“Nice guy.”
Jenkins appeared seemingly out of
nowhere.
“I need a carriage. I’m taking my
brother to the
“Right away,
Mister Scott.” With that
the butler was gone again.
Scott helped Johnny to the front
door and opened it.
“Scotty! Where are you going? You
have dinner guests,” Harlan Garrett asked from the doorway of the great room.
He had been pacing the foyer ever since Scott and Johnny had gone into his
library.
“Johnny is sick, Grandfather. I’m
taking him to the
“Oh, Scotty, Jenkins can take him
to the hotel. Don’t be rude to your guests. After all, this is your party.”
“I am taking my brother to the
hotel and that is the end of the conversation, Grandfather.” Scott scowled at
the old man.
And with that they were out the
door. Johnny had wanted to say something sarcastic to the old geezer but by now
he was feeling really sick and all he wanted to do was rest his head on his
brother’s shoulder.
Scott helped him into the carriage
and sat down beside him. Johnny did exactly what he had been longing to do for
two weeks now. He laid his head on Scott’s shoulder and closed his eyes.
*
Johnny didn’t remember getting to
the hotel or into his room. He was suddenly aware of someone hovering over him
and that someone was causing him quite a bit of pain. He didn’t like it one bit
and tried desperately to let that person know. But he couldn’t seem to get his
eyes open. Suddenly the probing stopped and he heard a man say that he had torn
the stitches in his wound and he couldn’t be moved.
Damn! Johnny thought. I don’t want
to stay here another minute. I’ve got to get Scott as far away from that old
fool as I can, and now!
The next thing he remembered was
waking up slowly. The room was bright and it hurt his eyes. He searched around
until he saw his brother standing by the window. It seemed very familiar to
him.
“Scott,” he whispered.
Scott jerked around and was at his
side in two steps, a smile on his face. “Hey, brother.
I thought you were going sleep for a week. About time you joined the rest of us.”
“I was just making up for lost
time,” Johnny teased back. “What time is it? For that matter, what day is
it?”
“It’s
Well, Johnny thought, I guess we
missed the train I was hoping to take back home today. He sighed and looked up
at his brother’s pale blue eyes. “Are you going home with me?” He asked with so
much hope in his voice Scott flinched.
“I can’t leave you alone for a
second, can I? So I guess I’m just going to have to go back and keep an eye on
you, younger brother.”
Johnny smiled his most
heart-stopping smile and Scott felt the tears clouding his eyes.
“Thank you, Scott. I need someone
to look out for me. You see, I’ve kinda gotten used
to it.” Johnny slipped back into sleep.
A week later the doctor said Johnny
was ready to travel. He was grateful for the news. Harlan Garrett had come by
every single day to try and talk Scott into staying with him. Johnny was afraid
the old man would succeed. With each passing day he got more and more anxious.
Scott could see this but at first thought it was Johnny’s natural adversity to
being cooped up for too long.
After Garrett’s last visit Johnny
asked point blank. “Has he convinced you to stay here?”
Scott blinked with surprise and
suddenly realized what Johnny’s anxiety had really been about. “No, brother. Not that he hasn’t pulled
out all the stops. But I just finished telling him that I’ve made up my
mind and if he continues to harass me about it, he’ll lose me forever.”
Johnny didn’t smile although he
really wanted to. He knew how hard this was for Scott. Even though he didn’t
understand the older man’s loyalty to such a hard-nosed bastard, Johnny would
not question Scott’s feelings for the old man. He left it alone.
*
The train pulled out of
He had sent a telegram that morning
to Murdoch. It was simple and to the point. It read ‘coming home with Scott’.
He settled down in the seat next to
his brother and smiled. Scott saw it and smiled back. The love they both
expressed with their eyes as they looked at each other was stronger than any
words could ever express.
“Thanks for coming to get me,
brother,” Scott whispered in Johnny’s ear.
“Thanks for taking care of me,”
Johnny whispered back.
THE END